RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships that have prior histories cannot be changed by a new relationship. No one else can ever change those

mistakes made by others. Therefore it is useless to think that you can make that person's life better before they have resolved their past indifference. If the past is not resolved, it will be recreated in the present to give you another opportunity to make it right. It will continue to be repeated over and over until the lesson is learned. 

“Karma is not always pretty, but it is always fair.” - Dr. Michael Plaster, D.C.

One cannot be persistent in wanting to communicate like a teenager about two peoples' lives. This devalues the importance of those lives. People hide behind texts and emails. They hide their true feelings and expressions of body language. This is fake communication. It is a lie. If you want to discuss a subject seriously, then you must wait until able to meet face to face. If it is important. If the communication of a serious issue is not important enough to meet in person, then the relationship was never important. Important relationships deserve respect. 

If no one has the right to be angry with you or disagree with you in your world, then you will live a very sad and lonely life. Suppressed anger in children leads to addictions, depression and violence later in life. Anger is a relative and normal emotion, and as with any emotional expression...when it gets out of control or becomes excessive, this is when it can lead to negative outcomes. There is no quicker way for an emotion to become excessive than through suppression, like a volcano waiting to explode. 

“Success is moving toward whatever you think is important. Stress is the opposite.” 

• Dr. Michael  Plaster, D.C.

When you are fully engaged in what you are doing, your mind does not wander and you are happy. Your view of the present is not the past, or future. It is now! There is a connection between the past, present and future, AND the only thing we are in control of is the present....and that will influence how we interpret the past and how we see the future. 

The more you look at what is wrong, the less energy  and confidence you have. That's why when you find yourself in a “bad” situation, it's important to look for what is right, even if it is hard to find. Then appreciate it and build on it. 

In reality, most situations are a mix of good and bad, right and wrong. It depends on how you look at them.

Pain is the difference between what “is” and what you want it to be.

Pain in the present, like everything else, is constantly changing. It will come and go.

When you stay fully in the present and have felt the pain, and feel drained by it, you can begin to look for what is right, and build on it.

It is important to experience painful situations and learn from them rather than try to distract yourself with something else or ignore the pain. Ignoring the pain only makes it dormant to be awoken again at a later time, or to build up like a volcano and cause damage and at that point you no longer have control. 

Why do relationships have to become “functional”? Why is it an “either/or” necessity? Where is the passion and coexisting with daily life and responsibilities? You do not want to be just a roommate with your couple and feel passion or desire on rare occasions. You want to feel and express this passion and love everyday, and be able to share responsibilities and projects constantly. Unfortunately... you may not find this or maybe you do not see this in other couples....ever. It is sad to see couples, that are admired, expressing more excitement, joy and happiness when talking to others than they express when speaking to their significant other, and you sense that everyone else around thinks this is normal. In your mind, it looks as though they are “fishing” around for something better, and when they start to get a “nibble” they give more energy and attention to that “other” person. Of course if it doesn't work, they have kept a hold on the “standby” relationship somewhere nearby or at home so they can fall back to hold on to until another opportunity arises. 

This is not living in the  present moment, contrary to what most people think. This animal state of mind is only hormonal with feeling the need to “ procreate” instinctively. Where is the human intelligence and conscience? Where is the love and desire to protect and treasure what you have created in the couple, especially if children are involved? Where is the respect? Respect has to be given if it is to be received. Respect, like forgiveness, must be earned if it is to have value. Giving it for no reason or freely without sincerity removes its value.

Being in the present means tuning out distractions and paying attention to what is important now. You create your own present by what you give your attention to.

In a relationship, you need to focus on the whole person. By being more aware of their “good” and “bad” qualities, you can address potential problems, instead of being sidetracked by them. 

Pay attention to what is important now.

To fully embrace the present, you must do more than just live in the present moment. You must be an active participant. 

It is hard to let go of the past if you have not learned from the past. As soon as you learn and let go, you improve the present.

I have repeated many things here about the present...this is to help you remember it.